What would Jesus eat?

I can't wait for the bracelets! Another new diet craze, to purify your insides....and your soul. They cleverly named it the "Hallelujah Diet". I want to go on this diet just so I can use that phrase in conversation. Here's how it might go:
Other person: "I really need to lose some weight, but I've tried everything. What's your secret?"
Me: "Why, I'm on the Hallelujah Diet."
Other person: "Never heard of it...is it a version of Atkins?"
Me: "Not at all, it consists of following God's perfect boundaries of hunger and fullness."
Other person: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Me: "The Lord gave us everything we need in the Garden of Eden...fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds"
Other person: "Fuck that, I'm doing South Beach."
That's just an example. The conversation would heavily depend on who the other person is. I was reading an article about how all the stars maintain their weight. One secret...shhh, don't tell anyone- laxatives. How very glamourous. The whole obsession over weight baffles me. I prefer to eat like a pig, not exercise, and then complain that I can't seem to lose weight.
R.